Last year, after Mom's Sunday school class watched "Come What May", I reflected on the show again and realized the importance for a couple to have the same values, same priority, and same mission.
Many times, Mr. Don Hogan and Mrs. Judith Hogan were fighting over teaching Caleb the "wrong" set of values. They taught him by writing Latin on a blackboard door and asked Caleb to translate it, explain the cases in which it applies. Mrs. Hogan wrote "malus prohibitim" which is wrong because we say it is but it's not morally wrong like "malum in se". She introduced speeding and showed Caleb "When someone tells you something is 'morally wrong', watch out, there's always a sliding scale." She cited stealing when starving. Fighting back passively, Don writes "Fiat justicia et pereat mundus" which Caleb translates "Do the right thing, Come what may". Later, Don and Judith fight over Caleb. Don, "I know you're worried Caleb might get the wrong set of values. So am I. What do we do now?" Judith, "Get rid of that blackboard." Don, "I'm serious." Judith, "Well, our Friday night dates, I guess we could start those again." And then they "fight" over who's going to cook. (Remember when you're married that your husband EXPECTS that you cook.) From this scene, I realized that a husband and wife must be in unison in their values, or else they will have a hard time passing on the torch. Just to note, Judith thinks that "Just admit, not everything is absolute"; Don says "I didn't say everything was absolute, you're the one who says nothing is."
In view of same priorities, many times Judith misses the Friday night dates, or even dinner at home with Don just because of "work parties" that occur every single week! This causes Don to be lonely and all his effort in preparing for the date is gone to waste. From this scenario, I learned that the priorities of a couple must be the same otherwise it will result in heartache. (Just like when people get engrossed in solitary golf rather than spending time with family.)
Judith's mission at work is for success, whereas Don's mission is to do the right thing. Judith's mission sent her to the Supreme Court, being head-hunted, and going on radio. Don's mission sets him to write about controversial truth, losing his job and tenure. Caleb has a dilemma. Should he follow his mother's sense to "success" and fight the Moot Court Case the way he thinks he can win? Or should he follow Don's sense of "success" and Rachel's conviction, to do the right thing and "tell thousands of people how", knowing that a sound argument is not as good as a popular one? If his parents had the same mission and same support, he might have been able to work it out faster and make a wise decision.
A couple's values, priorities and mission needs to be similar.
